Wednesday, September 21, 2011

NFL Week 2: The Sunday of Underacheiving (Except Tom Brady)

Week 2 of the 2011 NFL season has come and gone, and boy was it fun. The Bills and Lions asserted themselves as decent teams, winning both of their games to move their records to 2-0. Tom Brady threw for 500 again, and Cam Newton proved to fans everywhere that Week One was no fluke. Check out the recap below for more stunning headlines.

Giants 28, Rams 16

Although they got the win, the Giants played awfully and if Vick is ready to play next week, we might see a demolition of New York's finest out in Philly.

Falcons 35, Eagles 31

In his emotional return to Atlanta, Michael Vick played extremely well-until he was rammed into his own offensive lineman, spat up blood, and received his first concussion of the year. On the flipside, Matt Ryan showed that he has poise in pressure situations with his excellent fourth quarter play.

Patriots 35, Chargers 21

Well, we all knew Tom Brady was the best quarterback in the NFL. So... it didn't make sense for him to go out and throw for another 500 yards. We get it, Tom. You're really good. You don't have to keep proving yourself by picking apart defenses and looking bored doing it.

Texans 23, Dolphins 13

Guess what? The Texans are going to win the AFC South this season. Guess what else? Reggie Bush is just as likely to throw for 100 yards in a single game as he is to rush for 100 yards.

Broncos 24, Bengals 22

Andy Dalton played better than Kyle Orton, but Denver was able to get the W.

Cowboys 27, 49ers, 24

The 'Boys were trailing the whole game to one of the worst teams in the league, but pathetic secondary play from San Fran literally handed Dallas a much needed victory.

Redskins 22, Cardinals 21

Both Kevin Kolb and Rex Grossman have quietly put up some solid numbers - maybe these teams won't be as bad as everyone thinks they'll be this year.

Steelers 24, Seahawks 0

Under no circumstance should any team go scoreless. Pete Carroll may have been a legend in Southern Cal, but he's going to need to step his game up if he wants to keep his job in Seattle.

Jets 32, Jaguars 3

You know you have QB issues when Mark Sanchez throws for more than three times what your quarterback did. Maybe its time for Jacksonville to give Gabbert the nod. 59 yards through the air is NOT acceptable, Luke McCown.

Saints 30, Bears 13

Drew Brees made it look easy, Jay Cutler made it look like rocket science. Any questions?

Buccaneers 24, Vikings 20

Donvan McNabb isn't doing much for the Vikes. Adrian Peterson had a great game, but Josh Freeman took care of business in a late comeback win.

Browns 27, Colts 19

The only colt that played well was McCoy. The former Texas QB threw for over 200 yards and a touchdown, giving Cleveland a boost in this surprising victory. P.S. As long as Kerry Collins is under center, Indy will play like a high school girls flag football team.

Lions 48, Chiefs 3

The only playmaker for KC is out for the season, so that leaves an overrated quarterback and slightly below average running backs. The result? A beatdown from one of the more impressive teams of the season thus far.

Bills 38, Raiders 35

You may look at this score and think, "It's just like a Wyoming vs UNC Greensboro. Both teams are wretched but since they are playing each other they can score a lot." Well, in part, that's true, but the Bills are 2-0 and that was the Raiders first lost. Don't overlook them just yet.

Packers 30, Panthers 23

Cam had a nice game, but it doesn't really matter when your opponent has Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Ryan Grant, James Starks, Donald Driver, Jermichael Finley, James Jones, Randall Cobb...ect., on the offensive side of the ball.

Titans 26, Ravens 13

This is the conversation between Joe Flacco and Ray Rice prior to the start of this game.

Joe: Man, I'm so glad we have a bye this week.
Ray: I thought we're playing Tennessee?
Joe: Hahaha, no. All we have to do is get the ball in field goal range one time, and then we can chill the rest of the game.
Ray: Okay, I guess I can give 5% effort today.
Joe: WHOA calm down! That seems a little high! Try 0.5% - trust me, we're fine.
Ray: Sounds good bro.

And THAT's why the Titans won this game.

Thanks for reading everyone, and remember, whether you think you can or can't, you're usually right. Until next time!

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Best writing ever!! Great Job Zach!